Make up your mind, woman! No, I don’t mean lipstick.

What’s with these ‘I’m happy to be a woman because…‘ forwards? On one hand you go around proclaiming you don’t need a guy to open your ketchup bottles and on the other, you are happy to be a woman because that means you don’t have to drive to a date?

Reading these, you’d think someone was really desperate to find a reason to be happy being a woman. That’s one girl out there who needs to be fed estrogen pills for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

We don’t have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man

Have you seen that person out there? Yes, the one precariously balanced on four inch sloping stools, the one buying 101 bottles of varied colours to clutter the dresser, searching for the perfect Midsummer night’s cream. Is that a boy? No, that’s a girl preening herself silly and flipping her hair back in a calculated move to catch the attention of the men around. If that isn’t trying too hard to impress, I don’t know what is.

Our friends don’t pick on us if we aren’t sleeping with anyone.

Who are we kidding? All that girl talk is nothing but boasting. We all know and sometimes have been that one girl in the group who feels miserable for not getting any when the rest are discussing Troy-range action packed ‘It happened to me’ make outs.

Men don’t know what our ‘girl talk’ is all about (and I’m not gonna tell you)

Like seriously? Grow up kid. This is like the recent Facebook meme where 13 yr olds went around posting their bra colour on their status messages and thought it’s the one grand girls only secret that guys didn’t know about (and they weren’t going to tell the boys).  Girls do it, it’s called girl talk. Guys do it too, they call it networking.

We’re all sittin on a gold mine – we know it and use it to our extreme advantage

We’re sitting on a cute tushy. And we like to move it, move it.

Women can use the old “that mark on my neck is from a curling iron burn” line

In circa 1970. The sunburn, skin allergy, insect bite lines are so over used too. Anything new?

When women are short, we’re petite, when men are short, they’re just short

When men are fat, they’re well built. When women are fat, they’re just fat. Ok, curvy if you please. (As long as you are happy chunky dunking if not skinny dipping, who cares?)

Women don’t have to worry about not being able to get it up

Women fake it all the time. Sometimes, just for kicks.

An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time any night

That’s like saying a blow-up doll is all a guy needs for a good time any night.

Women don’t need an excuse to be in a bad mood

Oh yes we do. It’s called PMS.

The remote control is not an extension of ourselves

Unless we’re looking for a change from the oblong vegetables. And in the process you pressed the buttons by mistake when the channels switched to Gossip Girls is it?

Women are sexier

Sure, any guy’s dream come true. If women found women sexier than men, I see the guys wearing cheerleader costumes and whooping for joy. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind being second.

Women. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them, can’t get them to lay claim to their beds and happiness in the name of Estrogen!

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About :P

You don't know me, you can't judge me.
This entry was posted in Media, Vintage posters, You say 'sex' like it's a bad thing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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