Little things upset me sometimes. A friend who can’t make it to my birthday. A date I couldn’t keep for paucity of time. A former best friend I try not to keep in touch with but end up calling once in a while. Not often do I let them put me in a bad mood. What’s done is done and what’s gone is gone. But today, a very small thing makes me very sad.
A friend who I thought I’d never meet is in the city. This friend has grown to be quite close over time and promised to meet me today, but hasn’t called yet. It hurts sometimes when you are all worked up and happy, looking forward to something and it doesn’t happen quite that way. Worse, it probably doesn’t even matter as much to the other person as it does to you.
As a kid, I used to wonder what ‘Great Expectations’ meant. Today I wonder if I’m disillusioned and disappointed only because I expect too much out of life, love, relationships and people. I have more than I could possibly have wished for a few years back. Yet, there is a void. Sometimes, you have everything and yet, you are left wanting. Sometimes you just want things to be different.
Here’s a quote from Chasing Rumi. One of my all time favourites.
Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish silly things didn’t make me this sad.