There’s no such thing as small change

These days, I’m afraid to blink. Do you realize that every time you blink, you lose a moment of your life that you have left unobserved and that it’s a moment you can never regain? Things are happening so fast that when I am looking the other way, I’m afraid I might just get a new life. Good things.

People and friends are entering and exiting my life so fast that I feel like a subway tunnel. A grand one, nevertheless. Ideas, ambitions, beliefs, opinions are changing faster than a Bugatti Veyron. Too much in too little time. I’m unlearning a lot and I’m shedding a little. I feel like a wide eyed apprentice at a perfume factory. I can smell heaven, I have the desire to learn how to manufacture it, I’m there where I ought to be but I’m yet to learn how. You could call it anticipation.

The chance I was talking about in the last post is an opportunity that I want. The acid test took place as scheduled, it looks like things are heading the right way. If all goes good, all ends well. I’m one of those people who does not believe that good things could possibly happen to her just like that. I doubt. What if they say there’s nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly? What if they deny me what I want because all I have is promises and dreams?

Then again, if no one changed, if nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.

In other news, though I’ve been screaming from the rooftops that it’s Christmas, I haven’t been feeling particularly Christmas-y. I’m so devoid of generosity and forgiveness this year and being conscious of it makes me so guilty. That in addition to the roller coaster December I’ve been having, I would totally dunk myself in the Christmas spirit if it came in a glass and on the rocks….Anyhow, Happy New Year, my darlings.  🙂


About :P

You don't know me, you can't judge me.
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